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I hate who I have become inside this life. Resentful. Unhappy. Unhinged. I hate the way I react to my children simply being children. The way I plead with them, and with my husband, for the chaos to soften. For the noise to quieten. For life to feel a little more manageable. And then comes […]

This one comes to you from the toilet cubicle at the beach cafe. I’ve been up all night. We had another hospital visit at 2am this morning. Josh came at 8 to give me a breather, so I brought the kids to the beach for some peace. What I found was more chaos. Maybe that’s

Any parent who has spent an extended amount of time in The Heart Centre for Children with a ”cardiac kid” will be familiar with the Heart Beads. They are a collection. A timeline. A story. Each bead represents a different moment in a child’s cardiac journey. The big black beads for the really dark days.

It’s like a nightmare I’ve had many times before. I know what happens next. We are admitted to the paediatric ward, and hesitantly I take my seat beside his hospital bed, not knowing how long i’ll have to man my post this time. I can tell from the room we’ve been given, and the whispers

I must be a mermaid: Choosing depth over surface I’ve always had a thing for mermaids. I love the quote: ” I must be a mermaid. I have no fear of depth, and a great fear of shallow living ” (It may have even been my msn username back in 2005 -iykyk.) Deep, mermaid-hued colours

I paced the NICU corridors, baby swaddled in one arm, trolley of cords and beeping machines in the other. I wanted to take him and run. Honestly, I might have – if he weren’t connected to the place. Sleep-deprived, my nervous system frayed, I clung to him and whispered on repeat: ”We are taking you